Oh, thank god. I knew I needed to update my work journal, and thankfully, HR courteously sent us our stupid questions. Yay!

So, I shall have at it:

"Have you seen New Moon? If so, how do you think it compared to the book? Was it better or worse than Twilight?"

The entire Twilight 'Saga' is misogynist, woman hating drivel about an emotionally retarded teenage girl and the boys who emotionally abuse her.

That said, so much better than Twilight! I hate Robert Pattinson's foot face.

"Is there anything you always wanted to tell your partner, but were afraid to bring up out of fear of conflict or hurt feelings? Do you think you'll ever have the courage to confront the issue?"

Yes. I am afraid James will never know about his personal hygiene issues, as I will never be brave enough to tell him. Should I say it with a gift basket of body wash and shampoo?

All banal questions aside, Thanksgiving was really lovely! We had too much food, and my mom, Em and I spent too much money on Friday, but I got new shoes, and I'm really thankful for them. They make me feel tall. I will wear them to the Christmas party! Speaking of which, when is the Christmas party? I need to know the theme so I can buy a suitable dress.

I'm having a show at a gallery in Boston in December. I've been told this is something to be proud of, and to brag about. So I'm saying something.

Julietta, Danny and I have finally found a new place, a three-bedroom condo in Harlem. It's in a newer development near the river, which is fine by me, since it has pretty big bedrooms and a completely unfinished basement-like area. This is exciting to me, since it means I won't be having to share a room with Julietta anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but I think the only reason why we've been able to tolerate it as long as we have is because we slept in the same room so often as kids.

I'm ready to be an adult again. I want my own room, and space to set up my easel. Which I'll have, come January when we move in.

Oh my god. I love Black Friday. I got all of my holiday shopping done in six hours. I also got a blue-ray player for a ridiculously low price.

Today, I am thankful for capitalism. Also? Turkey sandwiches.

What are you thankful for, Spent?

Thanksgiving is awesome, you guys. I'm back at home in Missouri now, hanging out with the folks. Luckily, my mom's now one of those creepy types that leaves the bedroom just the way I had it when I lived there. The fact that they live in a different house is enough for that, but still, you know what I mean. Mom cooked, and we're all still stuffed from dinner. I think if I tried to eat anything else, I might actually explode. Which would suck, because then who would eat the leftovers? Anyway. Tomorrow I go hunting with Dad, while Mom goes out hunting for bargains. I'd rather fight a deer than fight the crowds at those stores. Either way, we're all going to be out of the house by 4am.

So, first and foremost, happy Thanksgiving. I just got out of bed. It feels wonderful. I'm not going home for the holiday, because it'll be a hell of a lot better with my roommate. We have bottles of wine, some pumpkin cheesecake, and a few turkey TV dinners. It's going to be the best holiday ever.

Also, what I'm thankful for? The fact that Natalie no longer works here. Just saying.

"Which character from any film, television show, or book would you most like to take on a date and why?"

For purely aesthetic reasons, I've got to say Lara Croft. She's got excellent assets, if you know what I mean.

To be a little less shallow, maybe Irene Adler. Because damn, that's a crafty woman. Wiley and able to outwit even Sherlock Holmes. That would be an interesting date, to say the least. So long as there are no attempts on my life, I think I could have an awesome time with a witty and wiley woman. Of course, she'd be gone before I knew it, only to pop up again at a random point in my life. Yay, surprises.

I need to update this, and I am at a loss as to what I should say. I mean, I have no interest in listing my dream human beings from fiction, and the only thing I like less than politics is political punditry. So, it's a tough life.

It is, however, Thanksgiving this week, and I am excited for that. I like anything that involves a good meal and several bottles of wine. I think I might make my own cranberry sauce this year to take to my in-laws, if only because I have never made cranberry sauce and I like trying new things and I found a recipe that involves the liberal usage of Grand Marnier.

Oh, and why is Taylor Swift all over my tv? God, I hate her.

That is all.

Wow. These past three weeks went by like a flash. Not that I was expecting them to drag on and on exactly, but I could have sworn it was just Halloween. Now we're coming up hard on Thanksgiving. Where did November go? I'm feeling a little bit robbed.

As you all know, Sam's gone on leave, which leaves me in charge of the legalities here at Spent. I think this is where most lawyers would run screaming for the door, but not me. I say hit me with your best shot, Spent. I'm not frightened by your reputation. On second thought, I probably shouldn't encourage you to purposely bring in a lawsuit. In fact, please don't. You know who you are.

And an update on the situation from my previous post: I took the advice given to me and was honest about the brownies. She said, "Oh my God, I know! I'm so sorry! I should have tasted them before giving you a batch!" So it turns out she used the wrong kind of chocolate. A rookie mistake, but I guess it could happen to anyone.

I forgot what day it was. I didn't realize it was my birthday until my mother called me ten minutes ago. Yes, she still calls at an obscene hour in the morning to recount the entire process of my birth. Yes, it's embarrassing. She's my mother. What can I do? Especially since I told her I wasn't coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. I don't feel like celebrating the holidays. Yeah, this from the guy who got excited over every holiday known to man. just don't want to deal with the family drama. Or the questions. Or one of my asshole brothers telling me that having my nut chopped off is God's way of telling me that fucking men is wrong. I'm thirty-seven years old. In three years, I'll be forty. Shit.

If anyone picks James Bond for the HR question, I'm going to assume that they're flirting with me. I aspire to be like that man. Seriously. I'd love to sleep my way through Bond girls, slap them all on the ass, shoot some bad guys, be a hero, drink some martinis and always look sharp. What a dream lifestyle.

On another note, I'm doing an article on the Mile High Club this month. I'm not a member myself, which is so shameful. I've never flown with someone who wanted to squeeze into a bathroom with me and let me put it to her do the nasty. I've read that the lower cabin pressure increases the intensity of orgasms, too. It's almost like you're wasting a flight if you don't have sex, ladies. Remember that the next time you get propositioned.

I have amazing logic, I know. You don't have to tell me.

It's my first day home and I'm already on here. Ahaha. I cannot escape you, Spent.

Which character from any film, television show, or book would you most like to take on a date and why?

If I wasn't with Alek? Elliot Stabler from Law and Order: SVU, definitely. For the following reasons:

1. He has puppy eyes.
2. He has a broad chest and shoulders.
3. He's a passionate person.
4. He's strong, but emotional at the same time. It's endearing.
5. No one would give us any shit during the date, because he's scary.
6. He's a good Catholic boy, so my mother wouldn't make a fuss. Not that I really care when she does, but it seemed like a good thing to put down.
7. Because he's THE CUTEST. That's right. I can even emasculate Stabler.

That was fun. Thank you, HR.

It's been awhile since my last entry, and since I thought I was looming close to the two-week deadline, I better update with one of the neat little tidbits that HR provides.

"Do you think your moods are controlled by your brain chemistry or that your brain chemistry dictates your moods? Do you believe people are born with particular emotional temperaments or that they are primarily shaped by environmental factors?"

I certainly think brain chemistry plays a role in how we react to things and what sort of moods we have. There is undoubtedly genetic pre-dispositions that are ingrained in us, however on the flip side of this, I believe close to all brain chemistry problems can be positively influenced by the surrounding environment, and many can be rendered almost inconsequential. Does this make sense? I feel almost as though I don't have the right to answer this question because I've been lucky enough to never deal with mental illness in my family.

Perhaps I should of answered the "which tv/movie character would you take on a date"... by the way, it's the hot blonde Pharmaceuticals Rep on "Scrubs", I don't even remember her name. Because she knows what she wants. Or maybe Lady Heather from "CSI". I feel like this question got far too personal. Oops.

I was feeling a little bit down, Spent. Why? Because I was a bit concerned that my single status-update on Facebook regarding my current relationship was disgustingly excessive.

Then, completely by chance, I found this. I've been on it for an hour, and I can't get enough of these married people and their obnoxious status updates. My favorite one so far is the girl that puts "~*Gonna*Be*His*Wifey*~" at the end of every single one of her updates for over a month.

Thank you, STFU, Marrieds blog, for making me realize I have not even come close to the cusp of Facebook obnoxiousness.

I've been watching television all day. Yes, I'm being a lazy bum. I could almost get used to it. You know, if I didn't have so much shit I have to do on a daily basis. I'm sure I'll pay for it tomorrow when I've got to play catch-up. But right now? It's all about catching up on random Doctor Who episodes and watching a marathon of this show called "The Big Bang Theory" that I've discovered. I'm not sure how I've missed it this long, as it's downright amusing.

I'm taking a break from watching the OSU/Michigan game. We're in the lead right now, by the way. The kids and I have too much pizza sitting around. Betty and Veronica are sniffing at the boxes like they're going to attack as soon as our backs are turned. My son painted his face again this year, except he tried to make it look like Brutus the Buckeye. It's a little disturbing.

I can't remember why I opened up this window. If I figure it out, I'll come back and edit.

Today is my last day. My maternity leave starts Monday. You're all going to miss me terribly, I know. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll run out of things to do at home within the first week, so I'll check back here every once in a while to make sure I'm updated on any office drama.

I will now leave you in the capable hands of Matthew Travers. He's a handsome devil, but don't let his looks fool you. I'm sure he's a good lawyer too. Ahaha.

My dearest apologies, Spent, but I was asked to photograph an after party for a certain other magazine's Sexiest Man Alive event tonight. I was contracted through Guest of A Guest though, and aforementioned magazine isn't exactly Spent competition, so it wasn't a conflict of interest. On the downside, Johnny motherfucking Depp was a no-show. Ultimately, that's probably a good thing; the camera that I usually use for GoaG work is so used to seeing dirty hipsters that it probably would've combusted if I had had it out any longer tonight. Too much pretty in those rooms.

( 001: Here I am in all my glory. )

( Can you hear the calmness of the ocean? )

Does anyone besides me find Rachel Ray incredibly irritating?

Everytime I catch some of her talk show, or her 30-Minute-Meal segments on Food Network, she sounds like she has laryngitis. It makes me want to clear my own throat... which of course never solves the problem. It also took me watching her several times before I figured out what "EVOO" was. But what put me over the top was my sister Julietta watching "Thanksgiving In 60: 2" today. I do not know how many times that woman said "nibbly-bits", when referring to what I suppose was appetizers. After the third time I had to put down my watercolors and go into the other room because I couldn't take it anymore.

I'm not answering the HR question this week. Clearly.

Hi everyone! I'm Patricia, but you can call me Bubble. Like the powerpuff girl, but without the 's' at the end! And no it isn't my middle name. People always ask me that, but I'm not sure why.

This is my first time in New York. Is it always this cold? If it wasn't for the whole penguines would lose their home thing, I would support global warming. I don't even own any coats! How mean are my brothers? They knew all about this. They could said 'by the way, make sure to bring a parka, Bubble.'.

Not that I own one. They're ugly and make people look chunky. =\

But other than that, I love the city! And omg, Broadway is a whole street!? =X I thought it was just a tiny little section.

Anyway! I have pictures!! THIS is my brother and I getting off the plane. (Lame old Micah had to ruin it by getting distracted by one of the flight attendants.) And THIS is me flagging my first ever taxi! (I was so excited!!) And THIS is my first celebrity sighting! It's that guy from that Bad Santa movie!

Oh wait, was I suppose to talk about work? That's going great too!

"Has your idea of the perfect romantic partner changed with age? Do you think we can teach ourselves to desire partners who are better for us or are we constrained by the laws of attraction?"


I think my idea of a 'perfect' romantic partner has definately changed with age. The main thing being that, well, I realized that the 'perfect' romantic partner doesn't exsist. Every man who I ever thought was perfect ended up failing on a really, really horribly epic scale on that front. I think one of the most important things we teach ourselves about romantic partners is that nothing is completely perfect. Everyone is going to have differences and flaws and little things they do that annoy you, and (forgive me for sounding like a cheesy after school special) love sort of becomes about both tolerating and enjoying the flaws in people. Because sooner or later, if you're patient enough, the flaw or annoyance might turn into something beautiful in a way you don't anticipate.

However, let's not discount the laws of attraction. For whatever reason, a lot of us are attracted to certain people regardless of how "good" or "bad" they are for us, just like some of us find a certain body type or hair color more appealing than another. Who knows where these ideas come from? I'd look for a Freud qoute, but I've already had one discussion about Freud tonight, and I'm not up for another. Analyzing a dream Freudian-style, a car in said dream turned into my vagina. Nuff said.

The marvelous thing about our 'types', and usual initial attraction to people, is that it's usually based simply on appearance, which is only skin deep. This leaves us open to having absolutely amazing relationships with people who have personalities we wouldn't end up with had it not been for the initial, purely physical attraction to them.

So in conclusion? Yes, my ideas of a romantic partner have changed, but we're still bound in some ways to the laws of attraction. And that, my dear Spentians, is a great thing.

""

To the first question? If I can speak frankly...as a teenager and young adult, my idea of the perfect girl was "anyone that put out." I wasn't very selective, I won't lie. As long as she wasn't mean, didn't have a unibrow, and if she did have a unibrow, as long as she agreed not to tell anyone I slept with her, I was down. That sounds awful, but it's true. And trust me, it's true for a lot of guys, if not all of them.

Of course, with time, I became a little more selective and actually placed some value on traits that weren't appearance based. In college, I really had a thing for "city girls", as opposed to the farm raised, church going, sweethearts I was accustomed to. They were exciting, most of the time they were a little mean and bitchy, which I was attracted to, and sometimes they were a little more sexually liberated...which also worked in my favor. I mean it's sweet and cute to find out a girl is "waiting for marriage" but...how can you marry a guy if you don't know what he's working with? What if you're disappointed on your wedding night then you're stuck with him? Bad idea all around.

In conclusion, I don't think we can teach ourselves to be attracted to a better partner for us, because most of the time...we don't even know who we are or what we want ourselves. So, how can you expect to find that in someone else? Without changing again 5 years down the road? I don't know about anyone else, but my idea of the 'prefect girl for me' changes each time I date someone, every time I watch anything with Dr. Drew in it, and every day that I'm single. So, I've definitely let go of looking for 'perfect'.

Love and life are just trial and error. Eventually we may or may not meet someone we don't hate totally and we'll want to change them, not despite them.

I'm still hungover. I'm kind of glad there's a topic for me to talk about.I'm really way, way too young to be able to tell anyone if my idea of what a good "romantic partner" is has changed over time, so I'm going to stick with the other un-romantically related question.

"Would you rent or buy the home of your dreams if a brutal murder had occurred there? What if you got to live there for free? Would your decision be swayed if it was rumored to be haunted?"

Death doesn't frighten me, my mother died when I was 13. Hauntings don't scare me, the concept of haunting doesn't scare me. I suppose the point of these things is to clarify and create discussion, so I'll clarify.

The house I grew up in was built in 1790, so it has it's fair share of creaking floorboards, slightly-askew staircases, and the ocassional unexplainable event. Stuff in my youngest brother's room used to move around, my grandmother used to say when she was young (she grew up in this house, too), she would play with a little boy in colonial clothing. Now, does my brother, Ryan, just sleepwalk? Did my grandmother just have an over-zealous imagination? Who knows. I'm not willing to completely discount it, nor completely buy into it. However, I do believe that if there are places that are haunted, our house is probably one of them. I also know none of us have ever been directly harmed by any "entity", so haunting rumors wouldn't scare me. Now, if something ever happens that seems malicious or dangerous, I'm willing to re-think this stance.

As for someone being murdered there, that certainly wouldn't put me off a place of my dreams, especially if I was living there for free. One person murdering another has nothing to do with the place. In fact, I'd probably do research and be ready to share the whole sordid affair with anyone if they asked.

Now, I shall return to watching the National Geographic channel.